And so it begins, "A curious emotion stirred in Winston's heart. In front of him was an enemy who was trying to kill him: in front of him, also, was a human creature, in pain and perhaps with a broken bone. Already he had instinctively started forward to help her. In the moment when he had seen her fall on the bandaged arm, it had been as though he felt the pain in his own body."
Our protagonist, Winston, supposedly falls in love with Julia, and yet his thoughts while he was in his cell seem to prove otherwise “if I could save Julia by doubling my own pain, would I do it? Yes, I would. But that was merely an intellectual decision taken because he knew he ought to take it.” Why then did Winston use “ought.” The fact was that he felt compelled to do so, and not because he wanted to. When he was confronted with his darkest fear in room 101, he begged O’Brien to “Do it to Julia!”- Doesn’t really sound like a man in love does he!
Prior to Julia’s declaration of love, what Winston felt towards her was anger and hate, so much so that he wanted to rape her. Modern psychological theories support the belief that rape is motivated by power and control rather than sexual desire. Hence, it is plausible that winston never did love julia, but rather when she declared her love for him, this hatred transposed into misconstrued love. “Love”, which stemmed from the desire to feel that he was in control, and had power over his own destiny; rebelling against the Party. By sleeping with Julia, not for the purpose of procreation, he was in effect challenging the party. From a warped point of view, the fact that Julia had numerous bed partners probably heightened this “rebellion” for Winston. Perhaps the idea of possessing something that was considered desirable by other males "the more men you bed, the more i love you" was some sort of a boost for his ego.
Winston does not really love julia "their embrace had been a battle, the climax a victory. It was a blow struck against the Party. it was a political act", rather he loves the knowledge that he is rebelling against Big Brother. And sleeping with Julia is but one of the many physical acts of rebellion in the text.